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The Divorced Dadvocate: Divorce Support For Dads
Dads face unique issues during and after divorce. We identify and address the issues relevant to divorced/divorcing dads and create an action plan to survive and thrive!
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The Divorced Dadvocate: Divorce Support For Dads
246 - Divorced Dad Décor: How Environment Affects Healing After Divorce
Creating a stable, welcoming environment after divorce isn't just about interior design—it's about healing, comfort, and establishing a foundation for your family's new chapter. When children shuttle between homes, the spaces they inhabit profoundly affect their ability to process and adjust to their new reality.
Interior designer Molly Anderson discovered this truth through personal experience when her son candidly told her that her ex-husband's house "didn't feel like home." This insight launched her specialty practice helping divorced parents create nurturing environments for themselves and their children. As she reveals, children are remarkably perceptive about their surroundings: "Anytime any of my kids' friends come over, they're like 'oh, your house feels so nice.' I mean, they could be eight years old and say that—you would never even think a kid would notice."
The conversation explores practical, budget-conscious approaches to transforming post-divorce spaces. Anderson emphasizes that expensive furniture and professional design aren't prerequisites for creating comfort. Simple changes—warm lighting (using 2700K bulbs instead of harsh white lights), comfortable bedding, and even artificial plants—can dramatically transform how a space feels. Most importantly, involving children in design decisions helps them develop ownership and pride in their new environment.
For many newly-single parents, particularly fathers who may not have been primarily responsible for home décor decisions during marriage, identifying personal style presents a significant challenge. Anderson offers compassionate guidance, explaining how she helps clients discover their preferences and create environments that support emotional healing while reflecting their new identity.
Whether you're starting from scratch in a new space or transforming an existing home after divorce, this conversation provides thoughtful strategies for creating environments where both parents and children can thrive during this transition. The right surroundings don't just provide physical comfort—they create the foundation for healing and new beginnings.
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Music credit: Akira the Don
Hello and welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining today, and we've got a very cool and unique topic to talk about today. That is, creating the new environment in your home post-divorce, and I've got a fantastic guest to chat with about that. But before we get into it and before I introduce her, I just want to remind you to check out the website at thedivorcedadvocatecom. If you are not yet a member of the community, check it out and become one. There are a lot of great resources, from free to paid, on there, including the divorce quiz that'll help you gauge where you're at in your divorce, mentally and emotionally, compared to thousands of others who have gone through it. So check it out at thedivorcedadvocatecom and become a member and get the help that you need and deserve.
Speaker 1:Okay, my guest today is a mother of two and an interior designer based out of my hometown of Chicago Illinois. She's a residential and commercial designer with a special interest in helping divorced clientele make their surroundings in their second chapter feel hopeful and like home. Her goals are to help create an environment that allows her clients to live to their fullest potential emotionally, physically and mentally. With either in-person or virtual visits, she will help repurpose current belongings, source new items within a specified budget and customize an overall aesthetic according to personal taste. This also includes focusing on bringing children into the design process to help ease their adjustment to their new normal. She found her passion for designing early in life and catapulted into helping this demographic after her own divorce. She is driven, efficient, accessible and, last but not least, talented at design. Please help me welcome Molly Anderson. Molly, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:I sound amazing.
Speaker 1:You are amazing and I was so excited when you reached out to me, because this is something that we talk about I've talked about on the podcast here but also something we talk about more intimately when we do our group meetings or if I do individual coaching with the divorced dads about creating their environment, their new environment. Oftentimes, whether they sold the house or they're moving out or whatever it might be, there's going to be a new environment. Even if they keep the house, it's going to be a new environment. Furniture leaves, like all kinds of stuff happens.
Speaker 1:As you know, you went through a divorce. It's a great upheaval, but we talk about creating that environment in their home that is conducive for the kids and for what they want to envision that environment to be. So when you were like, hey, I do interior design, I've just talked about it generally and the way that I've figured it out over the decade a little over a decade that I've been divorced, but to have somebody that really knows what they're doing, I'm very excited about that. So let's start out with you just telling us a little bit about how you mentioned in your intro a little bit how did you get into this?
Speaker 2:So I have. Well, I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I've had lots of businesses, always rooted in sort of the design community, and when I started doing design before my divorce, the thought never would have even occurred to me this sort of demographic um, this sort of demographic Um. So you know my clients are, you know families and builders, and like you know, you said, commercial spaces downtown, Uh, and then, after sort of going through this on my own, it became clear to me after my son, who was 10 at the time, said dad's house son, who was 10 at the time said dad's house needs help.
Speaker 2:You have to come help. It just feels cold, like we're, it doesn't feel like home. Nothing's unpacked, you know. And not to say that that's happening everywhere, but my ex-husband has, you know, terrible ADHD and I'm the one who typically would arrange everything because I'm the interior designer, right. So you know, moving into these two separate places, they just said you got to come over here and do something. So I did, but it made me think, oh gosh, you know, there must be so many kids feeling like this, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wait, you went to your ex and helped design his new place well, so okay yeah, he'll text me.
Speaker 2:We're very amicable and I know that's not always the case at all, um, largely because there's a lot of just ignoring what happens. But you know, for the kids. So I I kind of went over there and when I dropped them off realized, oh my God, this, this, it was hard for me to see.
Speaker 1:So I kind of got like, got to work, I sort of like like the kids sleeping on the floor or in the garage, or literally like boxes hadn't been unpacked.
Speaker 2:Know. I mean and he's just. You know he's busy and when you're a single parent, as you know it's, it's just hard to maintain all that, especially when it's not your first priority and I think it's it. It's lost on a lot of people how important your home environment is and so after doing that, that, you know, and now I'm 44.
Speaker 2:So a lot of my clientele and my friends, who are all word of mouth, are sort of in that area of okay, people are starting to get divorced, we're going to less weddings and more divorce parties, and so I started getting more of that clientele and I thought, oh my gosh, so many of these people are like, please help me, I do not have the time for this. I'd never cared about design before. My wife designed the house or what have you. I had input on it, but I just it's so overwhelming here, help me. And watching their reaction and the kids reactions to making that home was transformational and I thought, okay, this is something and this brings me a lot of joy. I just it's so important to watch your kids be a part of the process too.
Speaker 1:I think and you know your, your environment, has a lot to do with your mental state and so what do you find as being maybe the the number one challenge that, uh, that you find in creating that new home environment?
Speaker 2:So I think a lot of my divorce clientele sort of don't know where to start. So I'm not actually really sure what my style is right. You might not know, it may have never been even up for grabs for you in your marital home up for grabs for you in your marital home. So I like to help them kind of narrow down their style. You know, maybe you like minimalist, maybe you like color, maybe you like monotone, but you know, and, and getting them to visualize what that will look like because I make visual design boards helps them see, oh okay, you know that brings that to light and then they can kind of grasp it.
Speaker 1:But I think a lot of people don't know their style with dads who might not have been the ones putting together the house and doing the design and maybe being passively involved in that, but not intimately involved in that. So then you get a mismatch of furniture and artwork and like everything else, and then it's like what the heck am I going to do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have the couch, that from the basement, and then you know an armchair that maybe was upstairs, in a set that now you have one of. And you know what am I doing with rugs? What am I? Where do we even start? But yeah, all the the mismatched stuff. I find too that you know you go from having these professional family pictures you know in the house, whatever it may be, holiday pictures that were framed or pictures of your kids, and now you're in this space with these blank walls and it feels just really empty. So I love to help them kind of transition the way that new reality looks like.
Speaker 2:Go out and take pictures with your kids yourself and have them you know, make it your new reality, something that you're looking at every day, so it doesn't feel so daunting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how do you approach that? Working with a client that's feeling overwhelmed by the transition, like what are your first steps in working with them? You just started to delve into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I typically have a client send me a couple inspiration photos or I can also send them sort of a questionnaire and it will say you know which of these pictures sort of applies to you the best. Some people might know their style, like I found. I had a couple. They wanted to nest, so they were, they kept the family home and they both bought, bought a condo downtown chicago. Now they, you know, while so daunting, so also kind of invigorating, they were both like, oh, you know, we always used to have to agree on what we wanted and now we can do whatever we want. So he knew that he wanted kind of minimalist, minimalist Scandinavian style, and she wanted really cozy, you know, cottage chic. So I was able to, you know, have them send inspiration pictures and things like that.
Speaker 2:But not everyone is always in tune with what that means. So I can either send pictures and say here, so I can either send pictures and say here, pick between this and it gives me enough of an idea to go off of. You know, especially if someone that's in another state, you know, send me pictures of your space, you can send me video and a couple inspiration pictures. Just, oh, I love the way this looks and I, you know, I'll get dimensions and then I'll kind of start creating from there. We work with budget, okay, and then they kind of start to see that, okay, this can happen, my home can look like this and it's not going to be exhausting and it doesn't have to cost a billion dollars. But little things go such a long way.
Speaker 1:Right, cool. So why do you feel that it's really important and crucial for you know, emotionally and physically, for and I want to dovetail this into the kids and having the kids become involved in it but for, in our case, divorced dads to create this environment for their kids?
Speaker 2:no-transcript hit so I got out of there and I didn't even really take anything. So it was a blank canvas and I could tell when they came in they didn't feel comfortable.
Speaker 2:You know you. You become a creature of comfort. You have your things to go to and you don't realize that everything around you affects you. The the lighting affects you, having some plants in the house, whether they're fake or real, can affect you. You know the creature comforts of home and if they're coming over there, it feels like they're going to some weird hotel room and they don't want to be there and then it goes. It affects them deeper than that and my son, like I said, and my daughter were both really like, able to express that, even though they were younger. So I, you know, I took them with me shopping. Okay, well, you know you're going to share a room. Let's get a bunk bed and let's put your desk in there. And why don't you guys pick out? Let's go to Target. You pick out the bedding that you like. You know, and in my last house there would have been more rules on. We're not putting superheroes on our bedding.
Speaker 2:I'm an interior designer, but here like let's just have fun, you know, be a part of it. And now they talk about that apartment like, oh remember when we lived in that fun apartment. Instead of it being this tragic time of loss, it still felt like home. People need to feel warmth and comfort and organization and like they're not in a moving state.
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, one Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what you meant. Mental health, yeah, exactly. Well, one of the things that we talk about is that the kids are going through their own process, through the divorce too, and they don't have the capacities, the development, the brain development, et cetera, et cetera, to be able to process to, you know, to process some of that and to to deal with some of that. So creating an environment for them is is, is crucial to them, whether it's whether it's two different environments, but at least for you know, for the dads to create a space that is an environment that is there, that they feel, that they feel safe in, that they feel protected in that they feel safe in that they feel protected, in that they feel supported in, and doing that's going to just give them that security in going through that process and then, hopefully, adjusting post-divorce to that. So that's one of the things that we talk about all the time. That's so critical. So, like you described, having boxes open and not have silverware and plates to eat off of and all this stuff, that's transitory, which is okay for a period of time, but if that extends for a great period of time, that's really disconcerting and difficult for the kids to be able to make that transition that they don't know how to do. It's incumbent upon us as dads to be able to help facilitate that process, and part of that is creating that environment that is very, very safe for them, that they can come to.
Speaker 1:And then you talked about including them in that process. While it's so difficult and challenging I'm speaking from my own experience and also talking with and helping other guys it can be very exciting and fun, like you described, with your kids, Like hey, let's do something fun. And I remember with my daughters and I'm going to try not to get choked up but like I didn't have any money and I went out and I had to find used furniture, but this was the first time they had all their own rooms. So because before they were sharing rooms a couple of them and I got used furniture like nothing fancy or anything. And and I and I got used furniture like nothing fancy or anything but my, my daughter, just like flopped in her bed and she goes daddy, I feel like a princess and oh man, it just, oh man, it just.
Speaker 1:It still gets me too, because and it's like, like it wasn't anything expensive and, um, it wasn't anything crazy and it wasn't a big room and it wasn't a canopy, but like it wasn't anything expensive and it wasn't anything crazy, and it wasn't a big room and it wasn't a canopy, but like it wasn't anything. It was just something that was nice and we got her colors that she wanted and stuff like that, and and that was awesome. It was amazing and it was that. That's that place, for the time that we were there was transformative for all us in healing for all of us.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and you're just like the people you surround yourself are. It's equally as important and I think a lot of people don't realize that why would I get an interior designer? Why would I pay someone to do what I can go out and shop for? Well, do what I can go out and shop for Well. First of all, the internet is an abyss of options and to have someone kind of know what works together and what doesn't, I just you know it. It it really like I. Anytime any of my kids friends come over, they're like oh, your house feels so nice. I mean, they could be eight years old and say that you would never even think a kid would notice that. And, like you said, you can literally go on Facebook marketplace and buy a used. You can paint it with your child as a fun project.
Speaker 2:They just want to be involved in it and then they feel so proud of their space and then you're also teaching them something about creating a home later in their lives. But it's very hard to go to a place that feels empty and no one would feel comfortable there, let alone your kids, whose brains are now at this point right, so confused and so sad and they're living out of you know. They're bringing their backpack over with all their stuff to your house and I don't know what that's like. My parents were not divorced and my daughter will remind me you. You don't know what it's like to go back and forth. Nothing feels stable bowl.
Speaker 2:And she's 16 now, so she you know it's been seven years and so she was a lot younger and now you know she especially wants her closet and her space. But we made both rooms look amazing, so she still feels like she can go and relax and hide in her room like teenagers do.
Speaker 1:She can go and relax and hide in her room like teenagers do. Yeah right, well, let's talk a minute about why it would be beneficial to have somebody like you help, because people might think, okay, this is going to be incredibly expensive. But let's talk about ways and why and how you can help, because it doesn't have to be incredibly expensive. Like I said, I bought some, some used stuff. I bought some new stuff. We did some creative stuff as as well. What are some you know creative ways to to kind of mitigate some of this cost? Cause I know that during the process, especially during the process, and if you're splitting during the process and you're trying to find different places, there's already that it's a simple math problem One house into two equals more expenses and there's not a lot of money. But what are some creative ways that you help people to be able to do that and create nice spaces?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah. So that was a huge reason why I wanted to sort of target this audience, because so typically interior designers make their money off of doing custom furniture things like that so they can get wholesale pricing and I'm probably just ruining all my interior design relationships. But, sorry guys, a lot of people make money off of the wholesale pricing they get where they're tax exempt and so their custom furniture and all those things. That is not realistic for most of the population and there's no reason that all of us shouldn't have a beautiful home. I have done three divorced dads in the last year and outfitted their entire houses, worked with their children, got the things that they love.
Speaker 2:What sports do you guys like? What are your hobbies, what colors do you like? Incorporated them into their rooms and like literally done them all on Wayfair. So I get a discount through all the major stores and I pass that along because I refuse to let anyone pay full price for anything. There's no reason to do it. I also know what the good knockoffs are. How do we make this look super classy on a budget but you can so easily, like we said, facebook, marketplace, go get something used Target, wayfair, ross stores, home goods. I mean you would not believe what we can do on a budget and then me passing along my hour or my discount typically covers my hours, but I've made it all look complete for you.
Speaker 2:I've done the shopping for you. You can give me your credit card so you get air miles. I'll order it all for you. It'll come. I'll set it all up depending on what your schedule is. We can have someone assemble it if you need to. I will work within whatever you need, so you can literally take them from concept of I have no idea.
Speaker 1:I have no clue about my style or an environment I don't know what my kids like, I don't know what I'm doing to getting it all done and assembled and having the place look great and feel great. The kiddos excited about coming over and being in the environment, spending time there, etc.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're going to want to be there. And it's also important to know that everyone lives in their space differently. Everyone needs their space differently. I have a friend who got divorced and she wanted to feel really energized. So we got peel and stick wallpaper. We found a really inexpensive you know inexpensive handyman. He came, he put it up, she changed the lights, put her flavor on it and they loved that apartment. Some people want it to be really calm. You know it's whatever the vibe is that you're going for. I know the questions to ask to get you there.
Speaker 2:We can take an empty house and totally transform it. You know lighting, artwork, all of that, and and really on any budget. Or let's say, you have a piece of furniture, well, let's sell it and use that money. If you don't love it or if it doesn't serve you purpose or it gives you bad juju, then let's get rid of it. Um, or repurpose it, let's paint it, let's put new hardware on a dresser and it'll be fun for your kids. So does she want a hot pink dresser? Why not? Who cares? You know she's seven. Let's. We'll find someone in your area who paints furniture on the cheap and we'll, we'll give her a pink dresser. She'll be like. This place is so cool.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, so with the time we've got remaining, let's talk about two things. One I'd like to know what are some of the common mistakes that you see when dads are starting to go about this process or trying to figure this out, and maybe some of these are funny, maybe some of these are fun, maybe some of these are sad, I don't know. But you know, like what are some of the big common mistakes?
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's see, typically with the dads, I see that I I mean more often than not, right, the female usually stays in the house I don't know how often you see that or if they have to sell yeah, it depends these days yeah, just, my clients have all been misplaced from their home, so it does, it depends, yeah, so yeah, when that's the situation, personally, all of my clients have been like I didn't even, I just want it out of there, I didn't even take anything you know.
Speaker 2:So their kids rooms are a bed, a mattress, a thin blanket, a living room with a you know, of course the TV is always great. Yeah right, big old TV. You know. No rugs, no lighting. That, to me, is the biggest change that I can bring, is really like grounding all the furniture and making it feel like you don't live in a staged apartment.
Speaker 2:Okay, feel like you don't live in a staged apartment, so you know, and making it comfortable, how do you live? Like, let's get you fabric that's easily cleanable if your kids are little, and things. But yeah, I think they don't typically think of the kids rooms first.
Speaker 1:Okay. So maybe the biggest mistake is not focus maybe not focusing enough on the kiddos' rooms and making those spaces that are comfortable for them, because that's going to be really where they're spending a lot of their time the kiddos and so focusing on those, including the kiddos in that process and doing that maybe should be priority number one.
Speaker 2:Priority and for yourselves mean don't underestimate how you know how much time you spend sleeping, and that your bedroom should feel like a peaceful respite for you and good point, go to bed somewhere kind of cold and unkempt because you haven't hung anything or you have, you know, maybe no nightstands and what have you with a lamp on it that is going to affect you. I mean, I have had dads that have said I'm not, I really don't want to spend money in my room, don't worry about my room. And I say please just trust me with this and we paint rug bedding you know budget, whatever your budget is and they go. I can't believe that. I almost said no to this. It feels like a completely different place. I feel so at home. Plus, you're likely going to start dating again.
Speaker 1:You want to have a place that looks like you care about your environment if you're going to you know, yeah Well, that's a great point and that goes to the whole philosophy is you can't help other people if you're not taking care of yourself. And you're in a good space, so that's a good one too. That's a big mistake, too if they're not taking care of themselves, taking care of the room, creating space for themselves to be able to nurture, heal, do the work that that they need to do in order to uh, in order to move on with their lives and then also be there and be available for for the kiddos and be strong for the kiddos and help them through the process.
Speaker 2:So those are right, absolutely. I mean, who's who sleeps really well when they go to kind of a shitty hotel? You know no one yeah, I mean we're at the four seasons. We feel great, but right I'll make it oh, you will.
Speaker 1:okay, there's your guarantee, there's all these guarantee She'll make your house feel like the Four Seasons, okay.
Speaker 2:Perfect, hold me to it. I am serious.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:So let's finish up, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's finish up with some high-impact tips that the dads can implement, like right now, this weekend, this week, to you know to, to make some kind of change in the environment. That's going to really do something.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I find that now I get made fun of about it from everyone who knows me. I can literally walk like I. We got an Airbnb for my daughter's 16th birthday Cause my whole family came and my house cannot fit everyone. So we all chipped in and got an Airbnb and I was changing light bulbs. Like no one wants those green light bulbs that, like they're those are for embalming bodies. You don't need them in your home, so you need warm light. As you can see behind me, I have so much warm light, but it would shock you how much it changes the space. You need 300, 2,700k light bulbs If you can find the old light bulbs. Great, more power to you. They're my favorite.
Speaker 2:send me a text and tell me where you got them um, but that really does make a huge difference and it's about not having all the overhead lighting above you. That can completely change your mood. So lamps with warm lighting throw pillows. I know we're not big fans, no one wants to take 11 pillows off the bed. I'm just talking one long pillow, maybe a pillow or two on the couch, couple blankets. Kids love to have blankets, you know.
Speaker 2:Keep them in a basket so they know to put them away and get them out for movie night. Um, you know, rugs really help too, but I don't necessarily suggest doing that without my advice, because that can go very wrong size wise and placement wise yeah, yeah, yeah let's stick to the guy stuff.
Speaker 2:Light bulbs, yes okay, for sure, light bulbs that's maybe a little iffy, but blankets yes, that all right, let's do. Let's do light, lighting and bedding. Bedding's important for everyone okay, so let everyone have like uh, get buy a bed in a bedding set in a bag. They sell them at Target. It comes with the pillows, the comforter, whatever. Just everyone needs a nice place to like end the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And plants. Honestly, I kill every single thing I come into contact with. So I just find cute fake plants and they liven up the space.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, okay. So let's go to the. So let's go to the bedding thing. You gave the light bulbs, warm light bulbs, you know not the, the, the, the, the, the old, bright white ones. Yeah, I actually am a I'm yeah, I'm guilty of the bright white.
Speaker 2:I see it behind your head, I know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2:So immediately you don't see, you're going to feel like a completely different. Dimmers dimmers everywhere. Dim the lights.
Speaker 1:Dimmers. Yes, yes, okay, dimmers. That's good too, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can go to Ace Hardware, get a different plate for your wall, dim all the lights and add some lamps for when it's nighttime and you're just hanging out or you know, family reading time, games, TV, whatever it is. It really makes such a difference.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good. So that's an easy one guys can do. I mean, guys can do the handyman thing with installing the dimmers and stuff like that too. So very, very cool the bedding thing. So you're suggesting Target wherever. Take the kids, go check it out. It's bedding in a bag, right, it's the comforter and it's the sheets and the fitted sheets and the pillow covers and say what do you like? Let's start from there. We can design your room from your bedding, right.
Speaker 2:And you'll be shocked if you involve them on the process. All of a sudden they're like oh, I made my bed this morning. And the shock of that value, because I know, as a divorced parent, a all the guilt is sitting there. So you're kind of like not appointing the chores the same way and all of those things, but it's still so important for them to do those things, so like I just switched and required them to do that. After I saw like, oh, I love my bedding, I'm going to make it. I'm like, Okay, well, why don't we make that a rule then every morning before you go to school? But they take pride in it and it's important.
Speaker 2:You don't want to raise a bunch of slobs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cool, Okay. And then the last one. What would be the last one? The blankets or you have something else Plants, okay, plants.
Speaker 2:All right, and again, it doesn't have to be real plants. Fake plants are equally as beneficial to your space as real plants. I cannot, I kill everything I touch, but I, I like I keep bringing up target only because they have these lines with some really famous interior designers in order to make it affordable for everyone and they have like very great, real looking fake plants and they come in cute little pots and you put them on the middle of a coffee table or in the middle of a dining table and just people like greenery. It just really makes such a difference.
Speaker 1:And hanging things on the walls, Hanging things on the walls. So to the plant thing. I have had great success finding plants in thrift stores. People give away fake plants and it's crazy because these are $100 fake plants that they sell for $20.
Speaker 2:Yeah, artificial plants can range up to, you know, $500 for a tree and if you're willing to sort of risk it and try it can be very good for the air in your house. Costco sells beautiful plants.
Speaker 1:um, you can give it a try maybe yeah, and you can include your kids with it. It could be their chore. That's why our plants always die, because that's their chore, and they never get watered and then they die. So, yeah, yeah, exactly so. But you know you could build that into the the whole process of caring for something and nurturing, etc. But, um, yeah, but just know that you're going to be buying them over and over again probably absolutely.
Speaker 2:But I I do think that I never included my kids in the design process in my first home, never. I mean, you know, maybe, well, they were littler. Even though they were littler, I was still, I still should have. I mean, I think you could even take a three year old and say what's your favorite color and go from there, but I think I was so intent on making their perfect rooms and you know it was my first time doing that so I was so excited and then not taking it so seriously.
Speaker 2:After moving into that apartment I got so much more joy out of including them in on it and seeing their joy from it and it really took my mind off a lot of things.
Speaker 1:Cool. So where can people? Okay? Two things First, I think you've got an offer for everybody listening to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think you know it. I I will work however best suits the person. I'm a chameleon, so I'm not just going to offer a virtual session. I don't know many divorced dads who want to walk with me on FaceTime through their house you know, well, there might be some yeah.
Speaker 2:And if there is, then awesome. You know I'll also be your best friend, we'll have a great time. So we can either do that or you can send me you know we can start by emailing with each other and or just a phone call and I'll walk you through my whole process and you can send me some you know just text pictures of your space. I'll tell you how to measure a couple things for me. Maybe you have a floor plan, because you got into an apartment and they had a floor plan and you know we'll go from there. But yeah, I can. You know I charge $2.25 an hour but again, I am going to pass you my discount. So when we start buying couches and things like that, I get 20% off at all these places. Or maybe you say I only want two hours of your time. This is what I want to spend on all the stuff that goes in the room, and I'll work directly within that budget.
Speaker 1:Perfect, and so then, if they want to connect with you, how do they do that?
Speaker 2:so you can email me and I think you're gonna write put my email up.
Speaker 1:So I'll put all your information in the show notes.
Speaker 2:But for those who are, listening right now and want to write it now and get a hold of you immediately awesome. Yeah, I'm gonna. I have all my assistants on standby by the landlines. So my email is mollyandollivecom. It's Molly M-O-L-L-Y-A-N-D. Olive design. At Gmail, at gmail, um, and I have a website. It's molly and olivecom. Olive is my seven pound. Have a poo sleeping next to me right now on the floor I liked her more than my kids at the time, so I named my business after her okay, yes, well, you have teenagers too.
Speaker 2:So you know you can email me and we'll just come up with the best plan. You don't have to commit to anything. I'm just going to talk to you, we'll just plan a time to hop on the phone and I just, I, I really just want to be here to make your life easier, happier, make your kids feel better, more optimistic. I just. It really means a lot to me to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just want to reiterate that with all the guys that are listening, because what you mentioned earlier, we have no idea. I mean, maybe some of us. I was a child of divorce, but lots of us don't know what it's like to go from one environment to another environment. It's very difficult and challenging in some households, depending on what the dynamic is like. It's almost literally like living in two different worlds. So it is absolutely crucial and critical to create this environment for your kiddos that is beneficial to them.
Speaker 1:So connect with Molly in order to get this process going. Even if it's just baby steps at the start, to just figure out some of the three things that she told us with light bulbs and and plants and stuff like that to uh, to to. It's going to make a huge, huge impact on on your kiddos. So don't put it off any longer. Put it as one of those priority things on your list.
Speaker 1:I know you've got a lot going on if you're, if you're listening, but this is one that's really going to pay dividends in the future as you guys go through this process all together with your kiddos and if you're working with somebody like Molly, it's going to take some of that pressure off. It's going to make things a little bit easier, a little bit more fun that you can do, as she's got ideas to do with your kiddos, so it can actually be an opportunity. You guys hear me talk about that all the time. Is this being an opportunity? There are opportunities, lots of opportunities within this whole process that's happening, and so utilize the expertise that Molly has and get connected with her please.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I actually. I have another point I just thought of, but you know my kids didn't want to. They want to be able to have their friends over too, and when they don't feel like it's their home, they're not doing that. So I don't you know whether, whatever the situation you know like my kids right now, because of our work schedules, go over there on the weekends. Well, that's when they want to hang out with their friends too.
Speaker 2:So until I sort of helped make that space feel like, oh, I can have my friends in here and there's a space for us to hang out and a couch, and you know all this, they didn't want to have their friends over, but that's what kids are supposed to be doing. They're supposed to be having those joyous moments where they can just live like normal. But if they feel like they're sitting in your hotel room, then they're not going to do that and I'm going to take the guesswork out of it for you and all of us know here the decision fatigue that goes into a divorce. Your brain feels like cobwebs and your heart feels broken and the thought of the future you had, including your house, looks totally different overnight. So let's help make it feel like you're starting fresh and new and impressing the ladies or the men you know.
Speaker 1:Right. Well, molly, thank you so much for sharing some pearls of wisdom with us today and appreciate all that you're doing and the work that you're doing. It's sometimes a labor of love in this context of working within divorce, so I sincerely appreciate that you've chosen this niche to do this work.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I thought, gosh, after my son said that you know I really got to email someone connecting with a divorced dad group because it might not be the first thing on your list, so, but it is important and I'm here to help you with that if your ex-wife won't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not all of us are blessed with that opportunity, so yeah, I'd say the majority of us are not, so that's a pretty special circumstance. I would say.
Speaker 2:I mean it really is too. My clients are my clients for life. So I'm really not trying to like sell myself here, but I just am a very personable person and I'm not here just for design help. Like you know, life is hard and we're all in this together and I really understand this whole transition thing very much and I'm very compassionate about it and I just want you to feel good where you are, be happy to come home, be proud to call it your home and have your kids feel excited to be there.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Perfect, Molly. Thanks so much for being on the show. I appreciate it. Fellas, connect with Molly Anderson and start this process ASAP. Thanks for listening. Have a great week and God bless.
