311 - Coercive Control And The New Custody Trap

A single allegation can now reroute a custody case before a judge ever weighs “best interest of the child.” We’re sounding the alarm on coercive control laws and the way they’re being used in separation and divorce, starting with Colorado’s new HB 26-1309, the Abuse in Cases of Separation Act, taking effect August 12. Domestic violence is real and evil, but these statutes expand “abuse” into non-physical categories so broad that routine conflict, financial boundaries, and modern co-parenting logistics can be reframed as coercion.

We walk through the exact mechanics that make this so dangerous in family court: the preponderance of evidence standard, the threshold domestic violence hearing, and the custody presumption that can label a parent “unfit” on a 51% finding. We also break down the three buckets that show up in real filings: coercive control language like “regulating everyday behavior,” economic abuse claims built from budgeting or cutting off access to joint credit, and technological abuse claims built from location sharing apps or digital account access. If you’ve ever thought “let’s keep this civil,” we explain why that mindset can be exploited the moment you stop being compliant.

Then we get tactical. We lay out a practical defense protocol designed to withstand subjective allegations: a complete communication lockdown using court-approved parenting apps, a forensic paper trail that proves consistency and good faith, and a law enforcement script that protects you when a call becomes part of the litigation playbook. If you’re a dad navigating separation, divorce, or a high-conflict co-parent, this is the kind of preparation that can protect your parenting time and your future.

Being unprepared is how great fathers become weekend visitors. Most ground is lost quietly through "drift" and decisions made under pressure. Stop the drift today at TheDivorcedDadvocate.com.

Access your tactical tools:

• Risk Assessment: Identify your "quiet loss" exposure in 10 minutes.
• Protection Session: Book a private triage to ensure mistakes don’t become permanent.

Your kids are counting on you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello and welcome to this week's show and briefing. Today, Dad, we're going to expose a quiet, devastating legal trap that is sweeping the United States and is taking hold in other places across the world. And it's a trap that is being laid right under the feet of all of you well-meaning, committed fathers. And if you do not understand the terrain, you're going to find yourself walked right into a legal buzzsaw, which is going to make it very hard to discover. And I just I fe it I just feel like every week I'm coming with some challenges and some bad news. But this one in particular is something that that you need to be aware of.

The Legal Trap Targeting Fathers

SPEAKER_00 1:30

And this is one of the reasons that I'm I'm it's come to the forefront for me. Is on May 27th, the governor of Colorado, Jared Pulisson, signed House Bill 261309 into law. It is called the Abuse in Cases of Separation Act. And it officially takes effect on August 12th. So it's it's going into effect immediately. This law and the others that are sweeping the nation represent the most massive fundamental disruption to custody litigation we've seen in over two decades. And I don't feel like I am overemphasizing that at all. On the surface, these bills are packaged under the banner

Colorado HB 26-1309 Explained

SPEAKER_00 2:21

of protecting spouses and children from domestic abuse. And look, let's be entirely clear: domestic violence is real, it's evil, and any person who physically harms a partner or a child belongs behind bars. Nobody's disputing that. I don't think any rational thinking person would dispute that. No good dad disputes that. But what these coercive control bills do is something far more subtle and far more dangerous. They loosen the already highly subjective legal definition of domestic abuse to include non-physical behavior. I'm sorry, include non-physical behavioral patterns. They expand abuse to encompass vague concepts like emotional manipulation, financial oversight, technological surveillance, or restricting a partner's autonomy. I mean, those are incredibly subjective. Now, why does it matter to you? It matters because they are so incredibly highly subjective, and they and and their loosely defined terms are being dropped into family court system. And we know that this family court system is already tilted against fathers. It's a system that decides custody based on the incredibly vague standard of the best interest of the child. And it does so using a civil standard called the preponderance of evidence. And you've heard me call it, you've heard me describe it lots of times before, and you need to know and understand this because it's incredibly important. I call it the 51%, the 51% rule. When a family court operates on that five on that 51% rule, and you couple that now with an incredibly loose, subjective definition of what constitutes abuse, you create a perfect storm for litigation abuse and abuse within this family court system. You create an environment where normal marital disagreements, standard financial accountability, and necessary parenting boundaries can be easily repackaged by a high-conflict spouse to paint you as a domestic abuser. And therein lies the problem. So today what we're gonna do is we're going to do a deep dive, tactical briefing on the mechanics of the coercive control playbook. We're going to look at the exact text of Colorado's new HB 261309 and how it completely flips the burden of proof against fathers and why the nice guy approach, if you're still in this and the amicable facade to your divorce is a form of strategic suicide under these new laws. And most importantly, we're going to give you the exact defense protocol you must execute to make these subjective allegations completely indefensible. So this is the state of the dual front war for your child children's futures, Dad. I'm sorry, these are heavy sometimes, and this one in particular is going to be heavy, but you need to uh be aware. To understand how dangerous these new laws are, we have to look at the exact language being written into the statutes. Under Colorado's new law, the definition of domestic violence has now been expanded to include coercive control, economic abuse, and technological abuse. So let's break those down because the language is intentionally broad. The statute defines coercive control as quote, a pattern of threatening, humiliating, or intimidating actions, including assault or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten an individual. End quote. It goes on to include isolating the individual. This is a quote, isolating the individual from support,

Coercive Control And Vague Abuse Claims

SPEAKER_00 6:40

exploiting the individual, depriving the individual of independence, and regulating the individual's everyday behavior, end quote. Think about how that is applied in the real world. Quote, regulating everyday behavior, end quote, quote, depriving of independence, end quote. If you're in a marriage that has been breaking down for years, conflict is inevitable. If you have had an argument about who she spends time with, or if you expressed concern about her family constantly intervening in your home, a high conflict attorney will, can, and will now take those text messages and present them to a judge as a pattern of behavior designed to isolate her from her support network. Do you see how vague that is and how easy it is to manipulate? Under HB 261309, quote unquote economic abuse abuse is defined as monitoring, surveilling, regulating, or controlling the individuals or the individual's child or relatives' finances, economic resources, or access to services. Think about the math. Think about the math of a family budget. If you are the primary earner and you have spent years trying to get your spouse to stick to a budget, or if you asked why she spent $500 out of the joint account without telling you, that is standard financial management, right? That just makes sense to a rational person. But under this new law, if she screenshots those texts where you are asking for receipts, or if you change the password to a credit card after she ran up $10,000 of debt, her lawyer can present that as economic abuse designed to create dependency and control her access to resources. And then the next one you have is the quote-unquote technological abuse. This is defined as quote, using devices, apps, spyware, GPS tracking, or online platforms to monitor, harass, stalk, or control a partner, end quote. Like this is completely taking out any kind of uh accountability or ability to make sure that uh that the record is clear if you're just simply recording or monitoring somebody. How many of you or or get this? How many of you have shared location data with your spouse through Apple's Find My App or Life 360 for the last five years? It's a standard safety feature for almost every modern family these days. But the moment the divorce begins, pay attention. If you look at that app to see if she picked up the kids from school, she can claim you are stalking and surveying her daily movements. If you look at the family cell phone plan bill to see who she's been taught texting at 2 a.m., that is now technological surveillance. The system has created a framework where the normal daily logistics of a breaking relationship can be pathologized and criminalized. They have taken the subjective emotional distress of a separation and given it a legal platform where it can be used to destroy your parenting rights. Now let's look at the legal mechanics of how this plays out in a courtroom because this is where the trap truly closes on dads. Under the old Colorado law, and the law in most states, the court determined custody and parenting time based on the best interest of the child factors. Here it's CRS 1410-124. The judge would look at who was the primary caregiver, the emotional bonds, the child's adjustment to school, and the ability of the parents to cooperate. It was a discretionary balancing test. But HB 261309 completely alters this process by creating a mandatory two-step system that judges must follow in every single case where domestic violence is alleged. Now get this.

Economic And Tech Abuse Examples

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Because all that needs to be done is a claim of domestic violence, and that creates a two-step system now that a judge must follow. So here it is. Step one, any claim, domestic violence. Step one is the threshold determination before the judge can even look at the best interests of the child factors. They must first determine whether a party has committed domestic violence under the new expanded definitions of coercive control, economic abuse, or tech abuse. So automatically, I hope you can see how this automatically makes things much more, much harder. And even if it's a false claim, like we talked about the silver bullets and the false claims, this can be a false claim. Automatically, any claim of domestic abuse, that is the first step. This determination is made then in an evidentiary hearing, and the standard of proof is that preponderance of evidence. It's not clear and convincing. Again, that's the 51% rule. You just have to convince by a feather, a feather more. So the other side does not need a in the other side does not need a criminal conviction for this to take place now. They don't need a police report. They don't need physical evidence of harm. They only need to present enough text messages, emails, subjective testimony to convince a judge by that 51% that you engaged in a quote-unquote pattern of controlling behavior. Do you see how this opens up a whole different level of problems now? If this judge finds by 51% margin that you committed coercive control or economic abuse, step two of the law is triggered, and that is the custody presumption. And this is where it gets sick and it's going to be twisted, guys, and you've got to be aware of this. The statute creates a legal presumption that allocating parenting time or decision-making responsibility to a parent who has committed domestic violence is not in the child's best interest. I need you to hear the gravity of this shift. The burden of proof has been completely flipped. And while I've been telling you for years that you're guilty until proven innocent, this is now put into statute. This is this has now been codified that you are guilty until proven innocent. In a standard custody case, both parents start at that baseline of fitness. But under this new bill, HB 261309, once that 50% threshold is hit, the law presumes you are unfit. You are immediately put on the defensive. You no longer start at 50-50. The law requires the court to prioritize the safety of the child and the quote unquote abused party, whether it is legitimate or or not, before any contact is even considered. And to overcome so to overcome this presumption and to even get basic visitation with your own children, the burden falls entirely on you and your attorney. It's just insane. You must prove by a preponderance of the evidence that you have completed an intensive 52-week domestic violence abuser intervention program. 52 weeks. You must prove that sufficient time has passed to evaluate actual behavioral changes, and you must prove that granting you time would not endanger the child's physical or emotional well-being. That is it is absolutely insane, guys. And if that is not bad enough, it gets even worse. The law additionally requires the judge to make specific written findings explaining why the presumption has been rebutted. This means the judges are highly disincentivized to give you the benefit of the doubt. This is more work for them. If they rule in your favor, they actually have to write a detailed legal brief justifying why they let an quote unquote abuser have the kids, which opens them up to intense appellate scrutiny and professional risk. Like we talk about the court system works on two things efficiency and risk mitigation. Efficiency and risk mitigation. All this does is add that possibility of less efficiency and more risk for the judge. What are they going to do? Right? It's infinitely easier, faster, and safer for their docket to simply apply the presumption, restrict your access, and move to the next case. It is insane and it is so tilted. This is the blind referee problem on steroids. You're walking into a room where the rules are written to assume your guilt based on the subjective interpretation of your boundaries. Let's talk about how this trap is sprung. Because most of the dads I coach get caught in the amicable amicable mirage. You hear me, I'm going to keep talking about it. You've heard me do the full podcast on it a few weeks ago. I'm mentioning it. You've just got to be aware of it because all the nice guys that want to be amical, amicable have got to be aware of the playing field that you're walking into. If you find yourself in the early stages of a separation and you quote unquote, quote unquote hope, right? You're hoping like get that word out of your lexicon, right? That things can stay civil. You want to keep the peace so you can continue to play, continue playing the compliant partner, right? You've been the yes man in your marriage for years, constantly sacrificing your boundaries to keep her happy. And you assume that if you just keep being the nice guy during the divorce, she'll be reasonable in return. Get that out of mind. Get that out of your mind, guys. You just gotta stop as soon as you're divorced. She tells you, let's just keep this civil. We don't need to get a bunch of high-priced lawyers involved. I just want what's fair, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But the moment you stop saying yes, the moment you stop being docile, predictable partner, she expects the amical mask will be ripped off. The second you hire an attorney to protect predict protect your 50-50 rights, or the second you ask for a transparent accounting of the marital bank accounts, the playbook of coercive control is launched.

The Two-Step Custody Presumption Shift

SPEAKER_00 17:48

And this is even, man, this is even this is subtly worse than the the silver belt false allegations because what it does is it takes those and then it translates them into your inability to have any time with your kids anymore. This is absolutely sick uh and and evil. She'll take your sudden boundaries. So all you're doing is setting boundaries, right? Or fighting for your 50-50, which should be the preset. And I and I truly believe that this these coercive controls laws are uh are a response to the traction that the 50-50 bills are are starting to uh to get across the uh across the country because it those take away all this control of the domestic violence stuff and one side in the courts. So what she's gonna do is what she'll take those boundaries that you're starting to send, that that you're that you're man, you can tell that I'm worked up about this. I'm so irritated and upset about this. She will take your sudden boundaries and present them to the court as a sudden escalation of controlling behavior. So if, for example, you close a joint credit card that she was using to fund her personal lifestyle post-separation, her attorney is going to file an emergency motion alleging economic abuse and the financial isolation under this House bill. They'll argue that you're trying to starve her out of the legal process. Or if you ask her why she changed the passwords to the kids' uh school portals or doctors' accounts, which is actual exclusion on her point on her part, and you do so with frustration over a text message, she'll take she could take that text, show it to the judge, and claim your demands for information constitute course of regulation of her daily life. And you think these you think I'm coming up with crazy examples. These are just these, I took these examples from what happens with lots of the dads in the community and that I coach all the time. And I'm just applying them to what the law is. And because the system works on a 51% standard, the accusation itself functions as temporary evidence. The court will issue an ex parte temporary restoring uh restraining out order out of an abundance of caution to preserve the safety before any hearings. That's what they do, and so now it makes it even easier. Suddenly, not then you're gonna be locked out of your home, cut off from your bank accounts, barred from seeing your own children, uh, which already happens with the silver bullets, but this makes it even harder. And then you're sitting in your apartment, hotel, blindsided, trying to figure out why your your amicable desire just resulted in being legally branded a domestic abuser. It is like the the next level of the silver bullet. You have to realize that this amicable, that amicable is a luxury, dads. Amical is a luxury that only exists as long as you're willing to surrender your rights. The second you stand up for your kids, you're in a high-stakes legal transition where she has a strategy, she has a playbook, and your hope is her greatest asset because it keeps you passive, predictable, and unprep and unprepared. So, dads, as soon as you, and and this is going to be my standard for you going forward, as soon as you hear the word divorce, as soon as it is brought up, as soon as it is discussed, you have got to get into mode, right? You've got to get into protective mode and figure out what you're going to do. You cannot just hope for the best and plan for it to be ammo amicable. Okay. So immediately, when you hear that word divorce, preparation needs to start happening. Okay. So let's look at two real world scenarios. I just gave you a a couple of brief ones, but let's dive into two real world scenarios to illustrate exactly how these new coercive control laws are being weapon, will be our R being and will be weaponized against fit present fathers who made the mistake of trying to be reasonable. Scenario one, the financial alibi. So this goes to the financial part of the coercive control crap. This is a dad we'll call, let's call him Mark. Mark was the primary earner in a 15-year marriage. When they separated, they agreed to keep things civil. Mark moved into the guest room and they continued sharing the joint checking account. But three weeks in, Mark noticed that his wife had quietly transferred $50,000 out of their joint account into a private account in her name, and she ran up another $10,000 on the joint credit card retainer for a high conflict divorce firm. You think, okay, look, guys, this is this is Mark is a composite of many of my clients and guys in the community. This has happened over and over again, lots of different times. So this scenario is not uncommon. So what happens? Mark panics. He goes into that 40 40% cognitive deficit that we've talked about, reacts in fear. He immediately calls the bank, freezes the joint credit card, transfers his bi-weekly paycheck into a new individual account so he couldn't drain any, uh she couldn't drain any more of his salary, which is completely reasonable, right? Except now

The Amicable Mirage Becomes A Weapon

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Mark is served with an ex parte protection order because her attorney files a motion under this new economic abuse guidelines of HB 261309. They present the judge with screenshots of her empty bank account and a copy of the frozen credit card notification. And they argue that Mark has unilaterally cut off her access to basic necessities and economic resources in a deliberate attempt to isolate her and force her into submission. Do you see this? Do you see how it's happening? Because the judge only needs 51% certainty to preserve the status quo out of caution, the order will be granted. He will be ordered to immediately vacate the residence. His parenting time will be suspended. He'll be forced to spend $20,000 in legal fees just to get a hearing 30 days later to explain that he was actually trying to protect the marital estate from being liquidated, which is a reasonable reaction. And his reasonable reaction to her financial move was will be weaponized to brand him as a financial abuser. This is insanity, is absolute insanity. Let's talk about another scenario, that tech trap scenario. And I and I alluded to this before. Let's call him David. David and his wife have been separated for two months, operating on an informal, which you cannot do anymore, guys. Nothing can be informal. Informal, flexible parenting schedule. They had always shared their locations through their iPhones for safety. One Saturday during David's informal weekend with his six-year-old son, his ex, his spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse arrived at the park where they were playing and demanded to take the child early because of an unscheduled family event. David stood his ground. He said, No, we have a plan and I'm keeping him till Sunday night. So she left. She was upset and furious. That night she checked her iPhone, location, logs, and realized David had taken their son to a campsite 50 miles away for an overnight stay. So she immediately goes to court, files an emergency temporary restraining order, alleging technological abuse and surveillance. She argues that David's using their shared location to monitor and track her movements, and that his unannounced camping trip was a pattern of isolating the child from her support network because she couldn't take the kid, right? She presented the judge with screenshots of the act of the location sharing and a text from David seeing, I, you know, I see where you're at, or I see where what you you know where you've been. Even though the location sharing had been active with her uh consent for years, the judge looks at this subjective definition of tech abuser under the new statute and felt the 51% smoke in the room, right? That's all they need to know. They need to just think or feel something, and they'd suspend David's unsupervised parenting time. And so David's attempt to be a present father and on an informal schedule was transformed into a pattern of technological coercion because he didn't have a formal court order and locked-down communication protocol. So, like you might think these are extreme examples. This is what's going to be happening, dad. So this this is gonna this is about to get even more insane than it already is for those of you that are experiencing somebody that is weaponizing this system. Now, I understand this is not all of you guys, but listen, again, dads, this is even if any of you have thought, just had the thought that I'm gonna hope that this gets done in an amicable way, and I want this to be amicable. If those two words have even crossed your mind or come out of your mouth, or they've been discussed, you have got to be paying attention to this because you've got to get yourself in a position to where you can mitigate and deal with these circumstances. So let's talk about that then next. How do you protect yourself in this environment where the laws are designed to turn your normal behavior into evidence of abuse? How do you stand your ground when the the playing field is heavily, heavily tilted? You've got to go from a mindset of hope to an actual behavioral mindset of operational control. You have to accept that the rules of engagement have changed and you must build a defense that is clinical, objective, and entirely focus-driven. The first thing, a number one, implement complete, complete communication lockdown starting today, starting immediately. You do not send a single casual text message, you do not take their calls, you do not chat for a second on the porch during a handoff. From this moment forward, every interaction is done and has to be moved to a court-approved parenting app like our Family Wizard, Talking Parents, whatever that is. And guys, I know this sounds insane, right? You're like, oh my God, like I've got to go into this immediate battle mode because that's what it is. I'm going into an immediate battle mode, and the answer is yes, unfortunately, yes, but it's not your fault. It is the fault of the system, and now what they're even doing to make the system even worse than it already is. And I I can't tell you the gravity of

Two Scenarios That Flip Custody Fast

SPEAKER_00 28:55

this now, with this making it even easier for these false allegations to take your parenting time away, because they're they're focusing on the one specific thing. And the one specific thing is your parenting time. So by making this the the the dual process that if they do a false allegation, they do allege domestic abuse, and they do give you a preponderance of evidence, which is gonna be completely skewed, right? It's not gonna be uh contextualized at all. Then they take away your your kids, and then you have to jump through the hoops in order to prove that you're not. That's why you immediately have to stop. Uh and the next thing we're gonna talk about is equally as important. And and why do you have to start you know changing the your communication styles? Because these apps are designed to neutralize these subjective narratives, right? So they are they are time stamped and they're unalterable. And so if so, when you're having to go through and having to to prove your innocence, a judge or a Guardian ad litum or a third-party investigator, whoever, will be able to see these stuff with very clinical clarity. Uh so if she's if she sends you a long baiting message getting you uh you know designed to get you to respond, you're just gonna say, you've heard, you've heard the the podcast previously, you're just gonna you're just gonna respond, okay. And then you're gonna provide one sentence, factual answer limited strictly to the child's health, education, and welfare. And you're gonna do it through the app, not on text message, okay? If she stands, if she's on the porch with you, starts yelling at you, trying to bait you in an argument with her cell phone in her pocket, recording you, just keep your mouth shut. You do not respond, you do not explain. You just let the app carry the communication. You let and you let the silence carry the peace, right? Silence is no answers, no response. Silence is sometimes the best response. Okay, guys. And you have to have that, you have to have the ability and the restraint to be able to do that. Your clinical, boring, and child-focused record will make it impossible for her lawyer to present your communication as a pattern of coercive or emotional abuse. Okay. So that's number one. Number two is you've got to create a forensic paper trail of your entire life. You have to realize that under these new subjective laws, the other side's going to try to turn your routine into that smoke. I gave you the examples already. If another example, if you're 40 minutes late to a handoff because of traffic, she'll call the police to create a record of your unreliability and control. Look, like all of this stuff, like everything, every single thing can be utilized against you now. So you must preempt this by documenting every single day of your life in a contemporaneous log. I know it sounds insane and it is insane, but this is unfortunately the world that we are living in. And if you want to maintain that parental authority and and time in your children's lives, it is way better to have this and not need it than to need it and not have it. Your record, the exact time you relax you arrived at the exchanges, your records and the names of the witnesses at the daycare, you save every receipt, every GPS log, every email. We've got a whole protocol on how we put this together. It's one of the first things that we do in individual coaching, and it is the things that saves guys' butts the absolute most. So then if she claims you are economically abusing her by restricting your access to funds, you're able to keep a clear document record of every dollar you pay for the mortgage, the utilities, the children's expenses. You show the court that you're maintaining the financial status quo with absolute transparency. You make your consistency so dense and so undeniable that any attempt to paint you as a controller looks like obvious bad faith, litigation, gamesmanship. And this is unfortunately what then you have to do is to is to demonstrate this narrative so that her narrative does not stick. And if you don't have, if you don't get into this battle mode and do these two things, then you're not you have no ability to fight back. You're fight, you're you're fighting with nothing. You're fighting with just with just your words, which is not going to work. So the third one is you have to understand the also the silence protocol for law enforcement, right? Because the silver bullet is is going to come up with with this, with this, with this domestic abuse, because it's all going to be, it's it, it's all part of the situation. It's all part uh of how they go about this, and it's all part of the playbook. So it including law enforcement, getting police reports, removing you from the house, getting you thrown jail, like all of this is part of it. So if the police show up at your door because she's called dispatch over a minor dispute, and this is maybe for you guys that are still cohabitating together or just talking about this or whatever, you have to understand that the officer is not there to solve your custody battle or decide who the better parent is. They're there to stabilize the scene and identify a bad guy to clear the call and leave, right? Because usually that's gonna be what happens. They're gonna, they're gonna they're gonna justify their appearance there. And most dads fall into the good guy trap here. This is a this is the huge problem. They think if they are just helpful, transparent, explain their side of the story, the offer's gonna the officer's gonna see that they're a victim. Absolutely false. In reality, every word you speak is a statement that can be used to justify an arrest or can be twisted in a family court hearing under the 51% standard. Okay, it's as simple as guys, it's as simple as if the officer thinks that you're unregulated or upset or angry or loud or anything, they're gonna write that in a report. And then that report gets documented as evidence in family court. And and that is as simple as what they're using for this coercive control crap now. So you see how something that they already that they're already utilizing and doing that's not working, and that's why we've got other people like Robert Gars and other people across the country that are that are getting these statute, trying to get these loopholes of these statutes fixed. That's why they're they're going to the other end of this extreme now by using this coercion control control mechanism, because then it they're able to like make it even easier to utilize this in court and make it harder for you. And like I said, they flipped the script, they've totally flipped the script with with this now. You are truly now guilty until proven innocent. It is a fact. Now, before it wasn't written into law, this makes it written into law that you are guilty until proven innocent. So if law enforcement shows up, you you gotta be polite, you gotta be calm, but you just have to be firm in your rights. And use you've heard the script before. If you haven't, get ready. I want you to write it down or record it, get your phone recorded, like whatever you got to do. Officer, I'm happy to cooperate with your presence, but I am choosing to remain silent. I want to speak to my attorney, and I'm not going to answer any questions. I'll say that again. Officer, I'm happy to cooperate with your presence, but I am choosing to remain silent. I want to speak to my attorney, and I'm not going to answer any questions. Now that's fine when you say that, but after you say that, you've got to stop talking. Do not explain. You do not clear up the misunderstanding. You let your attorney handle the law and you preserve your legal safety. All right. So those are the three steps, guys, to mitigate this, uh, these new coercive coercive control laws. You've got to be aware of this, dads. All dads, wherever you're at in the process, you've got to be aware of what what you are potentially in for if you're going to face this. And I know this has been serious, but the proliferation of these coercive control bills is a chilling reality for divorced or divorcing dads. And if you're living in Colorado right now, the countdown starts August 12th. And be prepared. This is going to be massive. This is going to be massive. I'm I'm anticipating seeing a lot of a lot of crap go down. This this family court system is not a level scale. And being organized, just organized, you know, I talk about organization all the time, is no longer enough to save your fatherhood. You're fighting a system that's prepared to presume your guilt based on the subject subjective interpretations of an opponent who, as I talked about last year, last week, has a some sometimes sometimes has a three-year head start because they've already thought about this, already gone through the grieving, etc. So, so you know, I want you to pay attention to this. And I also want you to think about this logically, because when this starts happening to you, and I've mentioned before, and you're experiencing that 40% decline in your cognitive ability, right? Because stress can decline your cognitive ability up to 40%. I want you to think of this really logically. You're already at a deficit. So if you you were experiencing a 40% decline in your physical ability, let's say

Defense Protocol Communication Paper Trail Silence

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a loss of strength or mobility that was going to permanently alter how you lived your life and how you showed up for your children for the next 20 years, you wouldn't just sit on your hands and hope it got better and just be there and like hope that people you somebody else will take care of your kids, right? Okay. So think about that cognitively when you're at 40% diff uh deficit right away as all this stuff's happened. You would, you know, you're not gonna, you can't tough it out alone or read a self-help book or watch Instagram or anything, just like physically, you would immediately consult a specialist, a doctor, a physical therapist, rehab your body, protect your physical future, right? You are under that same type of crushing stress in this high conflict divorce. Your brain's experiencing that exact same 40% decline in its cognitive and decision-making abilities, and you're functionally impaired by the cortisol and adrenaline flooding your system at the precise moment you're being asked to talk to law enforcement, make high stakes, legal advice, legal decisions, financial decisions, anything, all this stuff that's going to dictate the rest of your life. You cannot navigate this cognitive fog on your own. And you cannot afford to make permanent compromises when your brain is running on limited processing power. You need someone to guide you through this. You need somebody that knows the lay of the land, who knows the exact legal and psychological battlefield to walk you through this high-stakes window and protect your future and your children's future. So I want you guys to go to the website, thedivorcedavicate.com. I want you to take the weekend visitor risk assessment. It's going to give you an immediate result of where you're at mentally and emotionally. And then we can sit down and we can talk about where you're at in the context of that weekend visitor risk assessment, and then we can triage your next steps. Guys, I can't tell you enough how critical it is for you to do this and for us to get together and talk about this stuff. Some guys have been able to take this from one call. Uh, you heard Alex Dane, who wrote the book that we talked about, one call and implement the protocol, a protocol, through his high cognitive divorce and have some and have success. Others need to get involved in the community, need to get a therapist, need to get a CDFA, need to get a CDLA, need, you know, need to build a team. Others need to get into individual coaching so that they can walk through this high conflict. Whatever it is, we'll set out what your plan is, triage your next steps going forward so that you are not blindsided by any of this stuff that's that's coming up. Dads, your children need you to not be a nice guy who got processed out of their lives because he was too afraid of conflict

Cognitive Fog And Building Your Team

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to lead. They need a father who is clear, disciplined, and prepared. So be that father, reclaim your role, build your defense now before it becomes so hard to build down the road. I hope you found some value in this today, guys. I know it's heavy, I know it's a lot, but please, please heed these warnings. It's incredibly, incredibly important. Uh, and if you found value, share it far and wide. We're getting lots of comments, lots of traction on social media, which I sincerely appreciate. So keep sharing that. Give us comments, give us star ratings. It really, really helps. Thank you so much. We'll talk next week and God bless.